Let's Fail: Anime Jason vs. Discovery Family - Chapter 1: Beginnings

The following blog is based on a video retrospective I was working on. But due to the politics and strict rules by the following parties (YouTube and The Federal Trade Commission) over COPPA, it will be in blog form until this matter is resolved. Although not as exciting as the video version, the blogs of this retrospective will be spot on like its counterpart and it will be well-informed. Enjoy.

Aw, The Hub Network, once a great network, where the past and future mingle together. And now, in its place, another example of a decent channel falling victim to executive meddling. What we see before us now is a result of the following factors: corrupt corporate executives, denouncing everything nostalgic and regretting it, and above everything else, money. There was once a time where many people rave about The Hub. Now, there is only a few. With Discovery Family spewing its "Edutainment" drivel and holding the Brony fanbase hostage, I attend to search for the answer for that universal question: WHY?!

As far back as I can remember, permanent decent channels are truly hard to come by. Every time a channel starts off good and awesome, it gets ruined in the long haul and The Hub Network is no different. But the question is: Would it happen again to another promising channel and milk it down to its core? It happened to the other channels that came and went and some are still on the air but barely. For the denizens of Equestria there was hope, but for the rest, there will be no tomorrow.

(Pinkie Pie crying)

And while parental groups, politicians and moral guardians are thrilled about it, I believe Discovery Family is nothing but a Edutainment cesspool that is more similar to those of Litton Entertainment. So much so, it caused so many mixed results, especially for a Brony fanbase is divided over this. Many people that I heard from have their own opinions on the whole matter.

Dotnot1999: "Discovery Family, like the "New" Boomerang, is lacking variety. Discovery Family, are trying to be the new Boomerang 2.0? You need some more variety to your channel. Get with it!"

Skalopulton301: "Now I know this might be a huge, big deal to you, guys, but this, this is a big deal to me! You guys might be okay with it, but I'm not! I'm not okay with this! I just wish they would never change The Hub Network!"

NickyVMLP: "Let's say Friendship is Magic were to stay on Discovery Family and Discovery Family never finds a show that able to carry the channel. This would mean that Friendship is Magic would be forced to be the flag bearer for Discovery Family for years and years and eventually the show will overstay its welcome and we be facing a Nickelodeon/Spongebob kind of scenario."

It was more than a simple rebranding, much more. And with so many viewers disappointed in The Hub's demise, I definitely feel for them. How could a decent channel with so much potential ended up suffering the same fate as the other channels before it? To understand our current predicament and why Discovery Family is a big mistake, all we have to do is one thing we do when we start a story. It's always best that we start...at the beginning.

(Mortal Kombat 3 Vs. Screen Jingle)

"Once upon a time, many, many, many years ago" as The Rock puts it, before there were many channels, it started as only one. Founded in 1985, 2 years after my birth, Discovery, the company, use to be the premier hub to everything educational. Discovery Channel itself was born on July 17th in the same year the company was created. Discovery is stationed at Silver Spring, MD, which is closer to the center of dirty and corrupt politics, Washington, DC.

(Dramatic Fanfare)

Discovery was founded by John Samuel Hendricks, who ran the company for 32 years until his retirement on March 20th, 2014, 7 months before The Hub's demise and the rise of Discovery Family.

Johnny Cage: "Dun Dun DUNNNN!!"

Thank you, Johnny Cage! Anyway, Discovery today has a lot of executives running many divisions. But the ones who succeeded John Hendricks are the ones running Discovery now. There names are Robert J. Myron, who is chairman of the board. AND...David M. Zaslav, who is president and CEO of Discovery itself. Between the two, I got some gripe with Zaslav, but more on that later. And on a sidenote, Bruce Campbell, YES, THAT Bruce Campbell, served as its chief development, distribution and legal officer at the time. I'm guessing before everything went downhill, at the time, Bruce Campbell sums up his position in one, little word...

Ash: "Groovy!"

But I would leave that to your imagination. After all, he's the least of my worries. Anyway, enough of the company itself. Let's talk about the channel itself.

Discovery Channel was once THE premier channel, solely dedicated to everything educational, which is technically not a bad thing back then. The perfect channel for those who don't go to school, getting home schooled, or just want to learn things and grow up to be great scholars, scientists, educators, etc.. Discovery displayed every, single program and documentary promoting education in many fields, such as science and nature and animals and history and so on and so forth. Wanna learn the lifespan of a member of the animal kingdom? Watch Discovery Channel. Wanna learn how tornadoes are formed? Watch Discovery Channel (The Weather Channel is another story). Wanna know about The American Revolution or World War II for your history report? Watch Discovery Channel. That's right folks, Discovery Channel was once the only channel for your educational needs. It was like this throughout the mid to late 80s. But like most media companies, it didn't stay one channel forever.

Discovery acquired TLC, another educational-themed channel, in 1991, back when TLC originally stood for The Learning Channel, before ending up changing for the worst.

(Honey Boo Boo Belching)

Okay, let's move on. Then, on October of 1996, with cooperation with the British network, BBC, Animal Planet was born. Hence the name of the channel, Animal Planet was devoted to everything that is related to its true demographic: Animals. Shows and documentaries such as: Meerkat Manor, Orangutan Island, Crocodile Hunter (CRIKEY!!), and of course, my personal favorite, Animal Icons.

Animal Icons is a documentary-themed show that talks about fictional characters based on animals like Garfield, the shark from Jaws, and so forth. For instance, in one episode, we've learned about the symbols of our respective political parties. While the elephant represents the Republicans' strong will, the donkey from the Democrat's side indicates that they are not just strong as well, but like the animal itself, they are as stubborn as a mule, no offense.

Old Mule: "None Taken."

But for the past 4 to 5 years, both the Republicans and Democrats have since switched personalities, Freaky Friday-style, and now it is the Democrats who are strong willed while the GOP are strong, yet stubborn but for the worst reasons. But that story is for another time.

Anyway, in the episode, Comic Book Creatures, we've learned about our favorite superheroes and villains who are based on real life animals and insects like Spider-Man, Batman, Catwoman, The Penguin and so on. But in one segment, though not based on a specific animal, Superman, whenever he flies, he soars real high like the Bald Eagle itself. You see, Superman is like the Bald Eagle, they are both majestic.

On a side note, even though the voice announcer for the majority of the episodes was done by voice over artist, Robert Clotworthy, in the episode, Star Wars Creatures, which featured creatures from the Star Wars universe, such as the Wampa, the Tauntaun, the Rancor and of course, Jabba the Hutt (Jabba laughing), the voice over narrator in this one was done by none other than C-3PO himself, Anthony Daniels.

C-3PO: "Anthony Daniels on Animal Planet? Oh, my!"

And then, of course, my most favorite episode of Animal Icons is: "It Came from Japan!". "What is it about?", you ask? Giant Japanese Movie Monsters, which includes, Rodan, Mothra, King Ghidorah, Gamera and of course, the King of the Monsters himself, Godzilla.

(Godzilla roars)

Animal Planet has since steered away from the animal demographic, and focus more on the humans than the animals. But I will get to that later. From 1996 to 1998, Discovery continues to expand. Not only acquiring channels like The Travel Channel, CBS Eye on People and The Health Network, but also launching more channels with the Discovery name, with some being renamed later in the long haul. The channel names are...

(Takes a deep breath)

Discovery Travel & Living, Discovery Civilization, Discovery Science, Discovery Wings, Discovery Health...

(Takes another deep breath)

And of course, the very channel that will have the most grief. The one channel that will have the most identity crisis and so much executive meddling to boot. It will go by other names, but in the beginning, it went with one name: Discovery Kids.

To Be Continued...

Next Episode: Discovery Kids: The Network That Wasn't!

Ash: "Hail to the King, Baby!"