60 Minutes: Cartoon Edition Part 2

*A hand holds an Egg.*

Announcer: This is your brain!

*The hand opens the egg and dumps the yoke into a frying pan. The yoke starts to fry.*

Announcer: This is your brain on Reality Shows! Any questions?!

Reality Shows: Just Say No!

This Message was brought to by Modern Vintage Studios!
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*Super Saiyan 2 Goku Son is having a difficult battle with Broly. Vegeta is watching from the background. Goku is sent flying and crash lands near Vegeta*

Vegeta: Things aren't looking to good for you,Kakarot.

Goku: *on the ground,weak* My energy is depleting fast.Who knew he'd be this awesome,huh? *weak laugh*. Hey Vegeta,you woudn't have any Senzu Beans on you,would ya?

Vegeta: Nope,though I may have something better.

*Vegeta presents Goku with a can of Brisk Iced Tea and tosses it over to him. Goku catches it*

Goku: Brisk Iced Tea? They still make this?

Vegeta: Just drink it.

*Goku gets up and drinks the iced tea and starts to power up into his Super Saiyan 3 form*

Goku: Oh,Yeah! Brisk,Baby!

*With energy fully restored,Goku rushes back into battle and beats the hell out of Broly*

Now That's Brisk,Baby!
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*A CGI version of "Macho Man Randy Savage" is infront of a table with a bag of cookies*

CGI!Randy Savage: Ah,Cookies..the worlds most perfect snack. Not!

*CGI!Randy Savage pushes the cookies away and presents a box of Slim Jims. He takes one out*

CGI!Randy Savage: Now This is the perfect snack. Beefy,Spicey,and everything Nice-y. Yeah! Need a little excitement,Snap Into A Slim Jim! Oooh,Yeeaah!

*CGI!Randy Savage "snaps into a slim jim"*
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*stopwatch ticks*

Optimus Prime G1: Welcome back. The Hub, or The Hub Network as it was sometimes called,was the most unique out of Discovery Comunications Networks. But,unfortunatly, it didn't stay that way for long. The Hub Network is now known as Discovery Family and it is nothing more than a generic Discovery Network. Anyway,during it's days of The Hub Network,Discovery Family had a sweet little weekday afternoon block called,Huboom. For more on this,here's Tom 3.0. Take it Tom.

*transitions to Tom 3.0*

Tom 3.0: Thanks,Prime. He sounds just like "The Big Guy",it's amazing. Anyway,what can be said about Huboom? It was an awesome weekday afternoon block packed with action cartoons...kinda like Toonami. Infact,Huboom was in transition to Be the next Toonami. But,sadly,it wasn't. Thanks to executive meddling,in September of 2013,Huboom was thrown out..never to be seen again. So,the trillion dollar question is: Why? Why get rid of somehing that made your Network great? Well folks,we're about to find out.

*Shipwreck from G.I Joe: Real American Hero*

Shipwreck: Ah,Huboom was a block that I really enjoyed. Bored out of my mind one day,Serpentor was on vacation so no Cobra,I decided to watch a little TV in the Joe Reck Room. I turned on the television and what did I see: lots and lots crap,man.It was like being tortured by Cobra,nothing good was on. But then Scarlett,of all people,came in and told me to switch to the Hub. I refused,because I hate baby shows. But after some persuasion,I switched to the Network.And to my surprise,I saw absolutely No baby trash. It was back to back Action Cartoons. I loved it. And from that day forward,I watched Huboom every weekday afternoon..right until it's untimely and unfair end.

*Scarlett from G.I.Joe: Real American Hero*

Scarlett: Huboom was the one thing the young and young at heart could look forward to each weekday afternoon on television. After all,it was the 1st Weekday Afternoon block since 2003. One of my favorite shows on the block,was Transformers: Prime. It was a cool reboot to G1.

*Snake Eyes from G.I.Joe: Real American Hero*

*Snake Eyes uses sign language*

Translator: I really liked Huboom. After Afternoon-Toonami ended in 2003,It was thought that there would never be another Weekday Afternoon Action Cartoon block again. But thanks to The Hub Network,that changed. Huboom became the greatest thing on that Network,because it provided a slew of great action cartoons. It was like Afternoon-Toonami had been reborn.

*Duke of G.I.Joe: Real American Hero*

Duke: To be honest,I don't watch television that much. I did see Huboom and I must say,I enjoyed what I saw. I even liked the G.I.Jke reboot,G.I.Joe: Renegades. Shame that show was cut short.

Tom 3.0: Of course the Joes weren't the only ones who loved this block. We talked to some more Huboomaniacs.

*G1 Galvatron*

G1 Galvatron: I will admit,I'm a fan of the old 80's G.I.Joe animated series and was interested in seeing the reboot. So I tuned into The Hub Network and watched it. The Mighty Galvatron was pleased about what he saw. I also like the fact that they made Cobra Commander a true threat rather than an incompetent bozo.

*Moltar*

Moltar: Huboom was a great block. And a worthy spiritual successor to Toonami. Shame it was  ut in it's prime.

*Tatsurian the Unchained,aka Bob,from Kaijudo:Rise Of The Duel Masters*

Bob: I loved Huboom. The Only thing worth watching on The Hub was that Block..that and Kaijudo.

*Dan from Dan V.s.*

Dan: Huboom was one jem of a program block. In fact it,was one of the very few things on TV that I didn't hate. So when I found out that The Hub Network was dropping the block,I didn't go ballistic,oh no. Instead,I sent Discovery Communications a couple of letters,warning them if they didn't bring back Huboom,I'd Hunt Them All Down And Kill Them!!! What The Hell Is Wrong With Those People!!!

Tom 3.0: That was a great question. Now that we're done with the testimonials,It's time to get the answers we've been waiting for. Why Exactly Was Huboom Removed In The First Place? We have theories. But we also obtained some candidly shot audio of Nikki Reed,the then program director of The Hub,giving an interview sometime last year.

*transitions to a screen with Nikki Reeds photo*

Nikki Reed on the Audio: We were told by our superiors at Discovery, that they didn't feel that the nature of the block [huboom] was appropriate for the new direction the network was going in. For the new direction, they wanted to put our child and young girl demographic first and foremost,so we were told to scrap the block. I agree with their decision. That's why I didn't bitch to them about it *laughs*

*transitions back to Tom 3.0*

Tom 3.0: *sighs* So the truth comes out. Instead of doing what's best for business,Discovery does the exact opposite..appealing to a small insignificant minority. Turning a Family Network into a combination Kiddie and Girly Network is shameful. Simply shameful. Though this does raise another question though...Were they pressured into this pathetic deed? Possibly. But then again,Network Executives Are lacking when it comes to common sence. Let's see what the people think,shall we?

*Static Shock*

Static Shock: I get that you gotta give the kiddies a little somethin'-somethin',but what busts my brain is Why the Hell would you get rid of your highest rated program block in the prosess? Can't both action cartoon block and kiddie show block co-exist on the same network? I think they can.

*The Tick*

The Tick: But The Hub Network is supposed to be a for families,not for babies and girly-girls. What fiendish foolery is this?

*Moltar*

Moltar: There was absolutely NO Need to turn the Hub into a Network for Babies and Girly-Girls. God! Besides,we already have Networks dedicated to that demographic and we didn't need anymore of those. This was horrid thinking on Discovery Communication's part.

*Dan from Dan V.s.*

Dan: Ok, Let me get this right. The main reason for huboom's demise was so That Discovery Could Make Their Own Version Of The Disney Channel?! *shouts to the heavens* DISCOVERY COMMUNICATIONS!!!!

*Freakazoid*

Freakazoid: Aw,no fair. I wanted my show to be part of Huboom. Nut-Bunnies!

*Ryo of Wildfire from Ronin Warriors*

Ryo: I'll bet the FCC or those meddeling Parents Groups had something to do with this travisty....woudn't put it past them.

*Shipwreck from G.I.Joe: Real American Hero*

Shipwreck: Aw,I bet those ridiculous Parents Groups had a hand in this. Typical.

*Scarlett from G.I.Joe: Real American Hero*

Scarlett: 10-1 says that those Lazy Hypocrits,the FCC,are the true masterminds behind this. It's So like them.

*Nightwing from Batman:the Animated Series*

Nightwing: Discovery Communications is run by a bunch of Retards! 'Nuff Said!

Tom 3.0: Whatever the reason for Huboom's demise don't really matter at this point. The point is that it was Screwed and will never return. Which is a shame,because it was a great block and so many shows would've fit in. Shows like: Static Shock,Freakazoid,and The Tick. The possibilities were huge. A Host would've been cool as well. Ok,that's all that I have. Back to You,Optimus. Rest In Peace,Huboom. You are missed.

*transistions back to Optimus Prime G1*

Optimus Prime G1: Thank you,Tom. Without Huboom,the Hub Network began it's downward spiral..a spiral that continued until it's bitter end. Huboom shall be missed,it was a very entertaining and memorable block. Plus,it made The Hub Network more unique. Huboom even aired G1 Transformers. For the final story of the evening,We'll be taking a look at the Rise and Fall of Saturday Morning TV. That's Next on 60 Minutes: Cartoon Edition.

*stopwatch ticks*

60 Minutes: Cartoon Edition Part 1

The following program is brought to you by The Letter Z, The United Federation for Animation Rights aka U.F.A.R.,and by this commercial:
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American!Link is prepping for action and adventure.

American!Link: I am sooo Ready to kick some Underworld butt. And once I'm done,I'm gonna get some sweet lovin' from the Princess. Oh man,I can't wait!

Nintendo!Princess Zelda arrives with a Snickers bar.

Nintendo!Princess Zelda: Here Link,eat a Snickers.

American!Link: How about a kiss instead?

Nintendo!Princess Zelda: Just eat it,ok. You're not yourself when your hungry.

American!Link takes the Snickers bar and eats it.

Nintendo!Princess Zelda: Better?

Nintendo!Link smiles and nods.

Snickers: Satisfy Your Hunger!
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*stopwatch ticks*

Optimus Prime G1: Robert Iger is CEO of the famed Walt Disney Company,but is he also the one leading it to ruin? We will get the inside scoop from Disney's employees.

*stopwatch ticks*

Optimus Prime G1: Before the complete desicration of the Hub Network in 2013,there was a great little block called,Huboom. We will be investigating the method behind the madness that terminated this once potential loaded block.

*stopwatch ticks*

Optimus Prime G1: Plus,The Rise and Fall of Saturday Morning TV. Does it really need to make a comback? all this and more on 60 Minutes: Cartoon Edition.

*stopwatch ticks*
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Are you tired of Network Executives giving Classic Cartoons the finger? Are you tired of Corperate Assholes cutting great Cartoons short? Are you tired of all of the good Cartoons getting replaced by bad ones?

If you are,then it's time to support/join The United Federation for Animation Rights.

We at U.F.A.R. are all about supporting Cool Cartoons and Damning those who hate them.

So Network Executives,Corperate Assholes,Soccermoms,FCC..Look out,your Mortal Enemies have appeared! And we won't stop until you're put in you're place.

U.F.A.R: Fighting For Animations Future One Crusade at a Time.
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*stopwatch ticks*

Optimus Prime G1: Welcome back. I am Optimus Prime G1,your host for this special edition of 60 Minutes. In this special,we will be taking a look at 3 interesting Cartoon related topics. Before we get to them,I'd like to introduce my 3 guest journalists,3 men that I have personally chosen to handle this task.

*transitions to Wolverine*

Wolverine (animated series): Yo Bubs,Wolverine here. I'm the number 3 guy on the X-Men team. My specialty is Slicin' N' Dicin'. I also have a temper,so don't cross me,Bub!

*transitions to Tom 3.0*

Tom 3.0: Hey guys,Tom 3.0 here. You may remember me as the Host of Toonami...well former host. Tom 5.0 runs Toonami now. I've been unemployed for years,so it's great to be working again.

*transitions to Mega Man RS*

Ruby-Spears Mega Man: Yo,I'm Mega,also known as Ruby-Spears Mega Man..and sometimes called Mega Man RS. I love fighting strong opponents and training hard for my next encounter with Dr.Wily. I'm glad to be here.

*transitions back to G1 Optimus*

Optimus Prime G1: I hope everyone is pleased with my choices. Now,as you know,The Walt Disney Company is  famous for many things,especially for its excelence in animation. However,in recent times everything seems to be going to hell for that company. And it's all thanks to Unic...er,Robert Iger,Disney's own CEO. Wolverine has been investigating this madness.

*transitions to Wolverine*

Wolverine: When one thinks of Disney,they think of Quality. Sadly that hasn't been the case since Bob Iger took office. He's turned the once Magic Kingdom into a Souless Empire of Ignorance and Greed. He even treats the Mouse like Crap,putting him in Pre-School shows. Now that's just wrong,Bub. You don't treat your famed mascot like a kiddie character,it's disrespectful. *sigh* Anyway,I went to Disney City to get some thoughts,and even the inside scoop,on Bob Iger's handling of Disney.

*Dr.Drakken and Shego*

Dr.Drakken:If you ask me,Bob Iger is a disgrace of a CEO. He makes stupid decisions all for the sake of making a quick buck. Hannah Montana Mania is one of the best example. Uncle Walt would be ashamed.

Shego: Ugh! Did you have to remind me of Hannah Montana Mania? Jeez Drew,now I'm gonna be sick for a week.

*Fu-Dog*

Fu-Dog: Bobby Iger is a stupid bastard,y'know. He refuses to acknowlage that the old school cartoons are great. Naturaly,the coolest among them is "American Dragon Jake Long". Why isn't that show airing anymore? Answer: 'Cuz Bob Iger Sucks Puppy Crap. And another thing,I'm so Sick of the cool newer animated shows getting a screw job. Fact: Tron:Uprising and Motor City were 2,000 x Superior to Jessie AND Zack and Cody AND Wizards of Wavery Place.

*Daisy Duck*

Daisy Duck: The man is a grade 'A' jerk,who can only make the right decisions when he's forced too. Let us all hope and pray that the upcoming Ducktales Reboot isn't a Pre-School show. God help us if it is.

*Oswald The Lucky Rabbit*

Oswald: So,I return home to Disney and only star in 2 games..that's all. No Cartoons,no Movie,no nothing. Just 2 video games,one of witch was hated by every american game critic. After all the trouble Iger went through to bring me back home,This is how I'm treated? *sighs* I guess there's always Disney Infinity. I hope I make it in this time.

Wolverine: Of course those were the Native Disney guys,let's see how the Pixar-Bubs feel?

*Woody and Buzz*

Woody: Bob Iger's buisness model is terrible,ok. If he was any good at his job,Disney would be thriving instead of falling. Look,I've got nothing against the man personally,but I don't wanna see this buisness go under.

Buzz: Well spoken,Woody. For the good of all things Disney,Robert Iger Must be removed from power.

*Frozone*

Frozone: I'm cool with my current employment,sure the boss ain't that hip,but the benefits and morale are fine. Wish more African-Americans got the spotlight,though.

Wolverine: Let's hear what my fellow Marvelites have to say about Iger?

*Spider-Man*

Spider-Man: Iger sucks sometimes,but I don't think he's That bad. He's still focused on my Franchise,so at leasg I'm not being forgotten. I'd say that's a good thing.

*Jubilee of the X-Men*

Jubilee: I hate Iger and what he and his cronies have done to Disney. I also hate that he's totally ignoring X-Men. If I didn't know better I'd say he was Burying our Franchise.

*Black Widow*

Black Widow: At least he's not turning us into Princesses.

*Deadpool appears*

Deadpool: Amen to that,Sister. Besides,I look Terrible in drag.

*disgusted, Widow leaves*

Wolverine: Just who invited you?

Deadpool: Oh,I go where I want. Problem?

Wolverine: I have no time for your stupidity,Wilson. Leave!

Deadpool: Weeeellllll,I suggest you make time,Wolvie. Y'see I know the inside scoop on,Bobby Iger.

Wolverine: Spill it,Bub.

Deadpool: He's so damn greedy. All he cares about is Money. And he Effin' Rules for that. If he had homicidal tendencies and a bitchin' sense of humor,I'd concider him my Bro. Now where them sweet Princesses at? Deadpool needs to get his freak on. Aw,Hell Yeah!

*Deadpool leaves*

Wolverine: I don't always agree with that nutjob,but he has a point. It has been well known that Bob Iger does love Money and has done some atrocious things just for a quick buck,like Drakken said earlier. Money corrupts as does power,both of which Iger has. But 'Moneyhungry'isn't the Only thibg Bob Iger has been accused of. Some even branded him a Racist. I spoke with 3 "minority" members of the Disney community.

*Penny Proud*

Penny Proud: I think Both Bob Iger and Anne Sweeney are a bunch of Racist pricks. For one,they never re-aired the Proud Family once it ended. And on toppa that,Under Iger,Disney has had no True Black Star Power. No,Tiana don't count because she's just another generic Disney Princess. Nick Fury,Falcon,Powerman,ect don't count either,cuz they Marvel,not Disney. Same goes for Mace Windu of Star Wars. I mean,yeah,Eisner and Walt didn't give us too much Black Stars either,but that ain't the point,since they weren't Racist. And besides,their Eras are over. The Iger Era,sadly,is Now. Bob Iger and his Henchmen are Racist and only uses Blacks to "proove" that they ain't. And That's Fact.

*Mulan Fa*

Mulan: I don't hate,Bob Iger,but I Really wish we had more Asian Stars in The Disney-verse. And although,I don't hate the guy on a personal level,I Will have him assasainated if he Dares to whitewash the live-action Mulan movie!

*Princess Sofia*

Sofia:*shamefully* I'm not Hispanic. Bob Iger just said I was one to look appealing to Latinos. The man has no shame.

Wolverine: Shameful,Bubs. Just shameful. Racisim isn't the Only thing Bob Iger has been accused of. He's also been accused of Sexism too.

*Rogue of the 90's X-Men cartoon*

Rogue: The problem with Bob Iger is that he has a nasty habbit of placing Women in either Damsels in Distress Roles or as Pretty But Useless Roles. For the Walt Era,it's excusable since it took place in the 20's-50's. The 60-80's changed things up for the better. As or the Eisner Era,Michael Eisner did a decent job with Women's Roles,but he could've done a hellova lot better,hun. Now with Iger,Eisner's Successer,he just made things worse,even though he was supposed to make things way better. After all,it was the 2k years when he was put into power. Bob Iger made Women into stupid asses..especialy in the movies. I thank Lord Jesus,Almighty that the X-Men movies are Not being handled by Iger's Disney.

Wolverine: Ohh,Burn! We also talked to another gal,this one hates the way Disney is excluding females from their various toylines.

*Jessie of Toy Story*

Jessie: Why is it that Every Damn time that The Big D has a Toyline,they Always exclude the female figures? Answer: Bob Iger is Sexist. Sure you sometimes saw this with Eisner,but we are seeing this Full Force with Iger. God!

Wolverine: Sexist is right. But that ain't the only thing bad about Bob Iger. He also buries the Classics.

*Darkwing Duck and Launchpad McQuack*

Darkwing Duck: It's true that Bob Iger never airs the Classic Disney shows and after some investigation,I found out why....It's because he has no respect for them. Because of that, He's Worse than F.O.U.L.

Launchpad: Isn't that a bit harsh,D.W? Remember that you are getting a new comic series. So Disney still cares.

Darkwing: Always the optimist,eh Launchpad? Well,Iger was likely forced into making that decision.  He won't do what's best for business if he's not forced into it. I mean,my show needs to air again. Plus,I was gonna be playable in Disney Infinity,but Iger decided not to include me. He hates me deep down,because I am not from His era.

Wolverine: So the truth comes out. You heard it here folks,Bob Iger hates the classics,because they are not from His Era. What a Retard!

*Mikey Mouse*

Mickey: Darkwing is right,Bob doesn't care for the classics because they aren't from his Era. And sometimes he takes a classic Disney show or movie and reboots it into something stupid. Take Me for example. My next animated TV series is a Baby Show! A Damn Baby Show! We Already Have  Mickey Mouse series for Pre-Schoolers,we Don' Need or Want Another! Iger You Are A Bastard! A Very Stupid Bastard! Parden my swearing,but Me and my friends are just So Sick of being treated like 'Pre-Schooler' Characters. We hate Bob Iger. Walt woudn't have done this to us. No Way.

Wolverine: Poor Mouse. No Mascot should be treated that poorly. What Mikey said though transitions into the next question. Is Bob Iger turning Disney,a mostly family focused company,into a haven for Little Kids? I sure think so,after all Disney Junior not only has a big block everyday on The Disney Channel,but it also has a 24-hour Network. Now some would blame Anne Sweeney for that decision,since she Was the President of Disney-ABC Networks. It was originally thought that,but as we found out with the current President Ben Sherwood,things remained the same. So it stands to reason,Bubs,that Bob Iger is the True Mastermind behind this Madness. The same thing can be said about the upsurge of Teen Sitcoms and Teeny Movies on the Disney Channel,It's all Bob Iger's doing and the Disney-ABC President is just a brainless Minion. So yeah,Robert Iger is a teeny-bopper fetishist too. The Disney Channel also airs teeny-bopper music videos,so theres further proof for ya. Dispite all the BS he's doing,however,Iger still has his supporters. Unfortunatly,we couldn't find any. So based on what you heard,Is Bob Iger Really Ruining Disney? The answer to that,Bubs,is a hard Hell Yeah! I'm Wolverine and this has been a blast,Bub. Back To Optimus Prime in the Studio.

*transitions back to G1 Optimus Prime*

Optimus Prime G1: Many thanks,Wolverine. Disney has become a souless,brainless monster under Bob Iger's control. He reminds me of Megatron/Galvatron in many ways. It's time for a short time out,but when we return,Tom 3.0 will take a look at 'Huboom:What Might Have Been!'

*stopwatch ticks*

The Hub Network: What Should Have Been

The Hub Network! A network that was supposed to be dedicated to Cartoons and Family Entertainment unlike no other Network. But those Mega Geniuses at Discovery Communications decided to Not use the Networks full potential and act with retardedness. After the Constant Failures of Disney and Viacom, TV viewers (myself included) were ready for a Superior Family Network.

At first we were pleased....well somewhat. The Network was greatly flawed, but had the potential to get better. Though, it was much better than the Disney Channel and the Nick Networks. Things started getting better slowly. The Hub started airing cool shows and even created it's own version of Toonami, HuBoom. The only huge flaw The Hub had was the fact that it aired the same lame movies every single month. The only upside to that was that the Hub Family Movie was solely a Weekend thing, with 2 Movies on Saturday and 1 Movie each on Fridays and Sundays.

But it wasn't long before Things went Horribly wrong. Nikki Reed,Former Disney Executive,was brought in as the Network's Program Director. Reed quickly became radical loyalist of Discovery Communications and followed their orders with no Question. And Soon The Hub Network became the very thing that we Didn't want. And now it's way too late.

Here is a brief history of what was once a Network full of Promise.  

On April 30, 2009,Hasbro announced that it would be forming a joint venture with Discovery Communications to re-launch Discovery Kids as a new, family-oriented television channel. Discovery would handle advertising sales and distribution,while Hasbro would acquire and produce programming.

While the network planned to maintain educational series,plans called for new original programs based off Hasbro-owned franchises such as G.I. Joe, My Little Pony, Transformers, and game shows adapted from its board game brands.

In Early 2010, Discovery and Hasbro announced that the new network,known as the Hub, would be launched on October of that year. The network planned to continue targeting Discovery Kids' main demographic of small children,but also planned to feature things an older crowd would like. They also made a primetime block with retro sitcoms.

The network's President and CEO Margaret Loesch stated that The Hub's goal was to be "vibrant" and "diverse" in its programming, and that the channel would not purely be a marketing vehicle for Hasbro products. The network's original imaging was developed by Troika Design Group, and built around an emblem nicknamed the "hubble"—which was designed to embody a "catalyst of action and imagination". The final logo design was the result of a number of drafts by Troika designers, some of which had incorporated typography similar to Hasbro's logo.

And So,like Hasbro and Discovery promised,The Hub Network was launched on October 10, 2010 at 10:00 a.m. ET; its first program was an episode of The Twisted Whiskers Show (a bad way to start). Some of The Hub's launch programs included Family Game Night,Pound Puppies (modern), My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic (aka overrated piece of crap), G.I.Joe Renegades,and Transformers: Prime. 

In 2010,The Hub Network introduced an unnamed 2 hour block. This block aired from 3 pm - 5 pm. In 2011,The block would expand to 3 hours (from 3 pm - 6 pm). Then in 2012, the block was named Huboom and now aired from 3 pm - 7 pm.

Unfortunately,in the Summer of 2013,The Hub Network Stupidly ditched the block and it was never seen again.

In a June 2011 debt filing with the Securities and Exchange Commission, Discovery Communications indicated that the channel may be worth less than previously believed, based on low viewership figures (*sarcasm* gee,i wonder why?). The management of The Hub underwent a fair value analysis of the channel. 

In The Fall of 2013, The Hub Network officially began it's downward spiral.

The network was renamed 'The Hub Network'. In 2014, Hub Network introduced an updated logo and a new imaging campaign, "Making Family Fun"(feh,more like "Making Fun of Family"). 

Also in 2014,The Hub Network thought it would be a "Cool" idea to emulate Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network by adapting a "popular" Internet show. The show in question is Kid President. And things only got worse.

Again in 2014,The Retro Stitcom block was shortened to make room for Hub Family Movies. Now The Hub Family Movies aired Every Night..including double and Triple features every weekend. This was So Stupid! Not only did they waste air time with the same movies,but they also devalued the specialness that was The Hub Family Movie.

But..It got worse. Discovery decided to "get with the times" and started airing Reality Shows, Starting with "Parents Just Don't Understand". *facepalm* Thank Jesus himself that PJDU was the Only Reality show that aired...at least before the re-launch.
On September 17, 2014,Discovery Communications was preparing to acquire a controlling stake in The Hub Network from Hasbro, and then re-brand it as Discovery Family.

Margaret Loesch stepped down from her role as Hub Network president and CEO at the end of 2014.

By 2014, the network had only made $9 million per year (i'm shocked it wasn't less). Discovery staff was also unable to display a full commitment to Hub Network's operation, due to factors such as the troubled launch of the Oprah Winfrey Network (what a retarded reason!). Hasbro decided to hand over operation of the network to Discovery,so that they could put more focus on their toy business.

In re-launching Hub Network, Discovery executives noted that there would be a larger emphasis on programming of interest to both children and families (and we all believed that BS at first). The Hub Network was re-launched as Discovery Family on October 13, 2014—just over four years since the original launch of The Hub. Discovery Communications now holds a 60% stake,while Hasbro holds a 40% stake.

And Now The Worse Part: Discovery Communications decided to throw out all of the Cool shows and Retro Sitcoms and replaced them with Crappy shows from their other Networks. What Assholes!!! Plus,the Girly-Girl and Pre-School garbage became the Daytime Majority. Shit!

*sighs* And there you have it,Ultimate Destruction of The Hub Network by those Geniuses at Discovery Communications.  It's now time once again to take a look into what Shoukd have Been.
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What Happened: Too much focus on Kiddie Shows.
What Should've Been: Kiddie Shows have their place,but they Shouldn't be the main focus of a Family Network. Disney is making a similar mistake with their Networks (all of them). So Kiddie shows are only limited to a small 3-hour block every weekday morning.

What Happened: Those Damn Ponies! They Are Everywhere!!
What Should've Been: The Ponies are not overexposed(ala spongebob). They will only air once a day And Pony marathon's will never exist. Period!

What Happened: The Girly garbage..promoted with pride.
What Should've been: Girly-girl shows like 'Littlest Pet Shop' are never allowed to air on The Network. And it's way better for it.

What Happened: Nikki Reed!
What Should've Been: She Never gets hired. Seriously,that woman is/was so braindead.

What Happened: Moving the cool non-kiddie live action programming (like hercules) to unacceptable timeslots and then dumping them all together. This happened under Nikki Reed. This type of thing should've Never happened in the first place. What Should've Been: These types shows not only get better timeslots,but they get treated with love and respect.

What Happened: The cool original shows were canned too early.
What Should've Been: Dan Vs.,GI Joe: Renegades, and The Aquabats Super Show were the biggest victims of this type of executive meddling. These 3 shows get renewed and promoted.

What Happened:  Huboom..gone,but never forgotten! :(
What Should've Been: Huboom should've been kept and promoted. It also becomes the Next Toonami.

What Happened: The Censorship of Old Family Movies and Classic Cartoons. This was So Stupid.Discovery did this to complement their Pre-school base And to please Soccermoms. Why? Those shows were Family-Friendly to begin with. *sigh and facepalm* Like I said this was so stupid.
What Should've Been: Every Family Movie and Classic Cartoon is kept As Is. Period!

What Happened: Reality Shows and "Popular" Internet shows on The Hub.
What Should've Been: These types of shows should've never been allowed to ai in the first place.

What Happened: Going Crazy With The Hub Family Movies by airing them every night. This was a serious waste of Airtime.
What Should've Been: The Hub Family Movies air Only on the Weekends. 2 on Saturdays and 1 on Sundays.

What Happened: Airing The Same Damn Movies over and over. Not too diverse,ain't it?
What Should've Been: A wider movie selection and No repeats from the following month.

What Happened: The retro sitcoms got screwed.
What Should've Been: The retro sitcom block should've been kept,with more shows added in the future.

What Happened: Shows like Xena,Freakazoid,The Tick,Static Shock,etc. never made it. Mainly because of Huboom's (unfair) cancelation.
What Should've Been: Those shows (and more) really should've aired on the Network.

What Happened:  The Hub's Transformers 30th Anniversary Celebration was marred by Transformers:Rescue Bots. No Joke! The Lamest and most Pathetic Transformers show made up the Majority of that 30th Anniversary marathon. No! Just,No! The marathon was supposed to represent something special: The 30th Anniversary of a beloved franchise. But Discovery had to screw things up with it.
What Should've Been: A marathon of G1,The G1 Movie,A marathon of Beast Wars,A small marathon of Animated,And Finally,a marathon of Prime. See,much better!

What Happened: Discovery Family.
What Should've Been: Instead of turning The Hub into yet another generic Discovery Network,It should've been improved upon instead.
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Had Discovery done things the Right way, Discovery Family wouldn't be the Pathetic Joke that it is Today.

See You Next Time and Stay Gold!!

Toon Ninja Reviews - Avatar: The Last Airbender Part III: The Characters

Welcome back, Toonsters!

  In our last chapter, I talked about the three books that tied the story together in our story of our young, intrepid hero, Avatar Aang and his friends.  But now, I will give you the full details of the characters themselves, heroes, villains, supporting characters, all the jazz.  Let's get started, shall we?

Team Avatar

Aang: The hero of the story.  Aang was a Airbender who lived happily with his fellow Air Nomads, including his father figure, Monk Gyatso. Until one day, the monks officially made him the Avatar, the one being in this world who could bend the other elements.  Learning that he should be separated from Gyatso to learn to be the Avatar, Aang ran away from the Air Temple on his bison Appa.  When a storm ruined his flight path, he and Appa crashed into the ocean. And he would've drowned if not for the powers of the Avatar. And because of that, he ended up frozen for 100 years.  Fast forward to the present, Aang was found and freed by Sokka and Katara, only to learn that the Fire Nation destroyed all the Air Temples, just to prevent the Avatar lifecycle from continuing.  Realizing that he is truly the last Airbender, Aang must learn the other elements and embrace his destiny as the Avatar and end the reign of terror of the Fire Nation.  Even though destined to save the world, Aang is mostly a kid at heart, for he IS a kid, metaphorically speaking. He likes to have fun, play practical jokes, ride on penguins, and so on and so forth. His staff doubles as a glider, most Airbenders use a staff for gliding. He sometimes uses for battle sometimes, but Airbending is pretty much weapon enough.  Though he perfected his Airbending, he later learned the other elements, but it wasn't an easy task, I assure you. But Aang's true power lies from his ultimate form, the Avatar State.  Like all the other Avatar's before him, when in the Avatar State, Aang is like a God. When his eyes glow, and his tattoos, and he speaks in a celestial type of form, or in this case, speaking as all the past Avatars, if you are someone who is threatening to destroy the world, you are going to be in a world of hurt.  But only a fully realized Avatar can control the Avatar State, which Aang needs to learn.  However, although powerful, the Avatar is also vulnerable. If the Avatar is kill when using it, the lifecycle will destroyed and the Avatar will cease to exist. Overall, Aang is like the very world he is trying to save, well-balanced. He is mostly a nice kid, but you don't want to be on his bad side if you hurt his friends or destroy the world.

Katara: A Waterbender from the Southern Water Tribe. When we first meet her, she was completely inexperienced in her Waterbending. But by the end of Book One and into the other stories, she became a full-fledged Waterbending master. She is Team Avatar's mother hen.  Ever since her mother, Kya, died, she became the parental substitute to not only her brother, Sokka, but also the rest of the team, including Aang and Toph.  Although the live action movie portray her as a wimp, the one in the cartoon was always the strong one, whether it's rallying the imprisoned Earthbenders to holding her own against Zuko, Katara is one tough cookie. Like Aang, she is kind and gentle, but she does have her moments when she loses her cool, whether it's getting into friendly banter with Toph to getting back at those who killed her mother or those who betrayed her, including Zuko, who made the wrong choice at the time.  As a Waterbender, she has the power to manipulate water everywhere.  She can use it as a whip, a barrier, freezing in contact, especially making a bridge or an ice slide ala Iceman, or she can use it to heal.  Those methods of Waterbending are mostly light, in a spiritual kind of way.  But, the only form of Waterbending she rarely uses is the darkest form of Waterbending, which is the type of Waterbending that controls your fluids inside your body like a puppet. That darkest for is called Bloodbending, which was formed by Hama, who, like Katara, was a Waterbending, but embraced Bloodbending for it twisted her soul. Whether in battle, or cheering on the hero, or motivating other benders to rise up against the Fire Nation, Katara truly is the heart and soul of Team Avatar.  Did I forget to mention that she and Aang eventually become more than just...friends? :D

Sokka: Katara's brother. Unlike his sister, he is not a bender. What he lacks in bending, makes up in being a warrior and tactician, takes up after their father, Hakoda. Although a decent warrior, Sokka is not exactly the brightest bulb in Team Avatar. He is the comic relief of the show, known for his crazy antics and constant use of sarcasm, which the fans call it "Sok-casm." If this kid ends up in a remake of You Can't Do That on Television and says "I don't know," he will end up with slime in his face.  Aww, memories. Anyway, although funny, he can be a bit serious, too.  Whether it's protecting Katara, like all siblings do, to feeling saddened with the lost of love ones, from Kya, his mother to Princess Yue, who becomes one with the moon.  But, at least ended up with Suki, so all is not lost. Since Sokka is a warrior, initially he was armed with a club, a machete and of course, his trusty boomerang, it always comes back. But later in the story, he ends up with a sword, which was made from a meteorite. Overall, he may be a goofball, and an overprotective brother, Sokka is one teammate you can depend on when it comes to planning against the Fire Nation and bringing them down, whether with a boomerang or with a big book, like that Spirit Owl in Spirit Library found out the hard way.

Sokka: "That's called Sokka-style, LEARN IT!!"

Toph: The daughter of the wealthy Beifong family of the Earth Kingdom. She was born blind and her parents see her as weak and fragile. But little that they didn't know that when growing up and behind their backs, Toph became more than just small and fragile. Through the Badgermoles, she learned the art of Earthbending and since she is blind like the Badgermoles, she can "see", without seeing. Like most Earthbenders, she is one with the earth, meaning she doesn't wear shoes, which makes sense.  As her skills improved, she ended up competing the Earth Rumble tournaments against other Earthbenders who act like pro wrestlers.  It was like this until she met Aang and his friends. Initially she didn't get along with Aang, Toph ended up slowly became not just his friend, but his Earthbending teacher, thus leaving her family behind (but her father thinks the Avatar kidnapped her, what a maroon). Even though Toph is, well, tough, she can be bit arrogant and even more sarcastic as Sokka, whether it's being a nicknamer to her friends (e.g. Aang/Twinkle Toes, Katara/Sugar Queen, etc.) to getting into arguments with Katara. Despite her "hard" head, Toph is a nice gal once you get to know her. And when she hits your shoulder that hard, that is her way of showing affection. Not only she is a proud Earthbender, but she also developed another form of bending which was once impossible to do, Metalbending.

Zuko: The crown prince of the Fire Nation and son of Firelord Ozai. Zuko was once a happy prince. Although he is Ozai's son, he was raised properly by his mother, Ursa. But things changed after the failed siege of Ba Sing Se. After Ozai became the firelord, it got worse. After talking in turn against one of the Fire Nation's top generals for using the Fire Nation troops as scapegoats for their conquests. For his questioning, he ended in a fire duel or Agni Kai. He was confidant to fight against one of the generals, but he was shocked when he ended up dueling his own father. By refusing to fight his own father, Zuko ended up getting burned by Ozai, leaving him the scar he has now.  For his refusal to fight in the Agni Kai, Zuko was banished from the Fire Nation. And in order to redeem himself to his father, he ended up traveling across the world to capture the Avatar, alongside his uncle, Iroh. Although his goal was to catch the Avatar, his quest was often sidetracked with other issues, including dealing with Zhao.  But when Zhao and his forces failed to conquer the North Pole, Zuko and Iroh went into hiding, but not before they ended up being pursued by Azula. While hiding, Zuko's character was slowly changing.  Not only remembering his mother, but also being trained by his uncle Iroh.  At Ba Sing Se, he was starting to feel happy and calm, thanks to Iroh.  But, when he was caught between loyalties, she sided with Azula and betrayed Iroh, after all the things his uncle taught him.  At first he did it because he felt that Iroh has gone soft. But after learning the truth about his great-grandfathers, Firelord Sozin (Ozai's grandfather) and Avatar Roku (Ursa's grandfather), Zuko's personality started to change, this time for good.  During the Day of Black Sun, where the Firebenders lose their bending due to the solar eclipse, Zuko confronted his father and told him what really happened at Ba Sing Se and telling him straight up that the Fire Nation is falling apart because of him and his forefathers.  Not only that, he convinced him that his uncle was more of a father to him that Ozai ever was. And on top of that, he ends his quest to capture the Avatar and vows to join him to end the Firelord's reign of terror. His defection wasn't easy for him, when Team Avatar didn't trust him at first.  Eventually, they gained his trust (most of them anyway, but Katara, at the time, still had bitter feelings towards him after his betrayal, but she eventually gained his trust after overcoming her demons). Zuko became not only a devoted friend, but he became Aang's Firebending teacher, which in turn, learned the real ways of Firebending down the way.  He eventually found peace with himself and reconcile his relationship with his uncle Iroh and on top of that, becoming the new Firelord and vowing to bring peace and balance back to the world with the Avatar's help.  Zuko is one of the most complex characters in all of animation.  Just like Piccolo, Sailor Saturn and Oni Masho Shuten Doji (Dark Warlord Anubis), he started off evil, but after a long and painful journey, he became good.  He went from, what Sokka described him as, "The Angry Jerk," to one of the most enlightened heroes in the story.  Not only he changed mentally, but at the course of the series, he changed physically, too. When we first see him, he had a bald head, with a ponytail.  But when he and Iroh went into hiding, he cuts it off and let's it grow, from a buzzcut, to a spikey-type style and finally into his finally hairstyle, which makes him look like the legendary martial artist, Bruce Lee.  Zuko's Firebending skills are second to none. Although he can't shoot lightning like Iroh, Azula and Ozai, thanks to his uncle, he can deflect it from a method Iroh learned when studying Waterbenders. Intially his Firebending was fueled by his anger.  But thanks to the Sun Warriors, his Firebending is powered by his determination and enlightment.  While not Firebending, Zuko is good with his dual broadswords.  So much so, to hide his Firebending and his identity, he disguises himself as the mysterious bandit known as The Blue Spirit. Overall, Zuko is one of my favorite characters who started evil, but ended up fighting for good and that's saying something. Now if only he learned how to use Nunchuks like Bruce Lee.  After all, he does look like him now. :D

Appa: Aang's flying bison. Very loyal to his master and his friends. All flying bisons like Appa are known for two things, their physical strength and their flying, when you say the command, "Yip-Yip" (and NO, it is not the command to summon your Avatar State. Thanks very much Ember Island Players!).

Momo: Aang's squirrel monkey.  Unlike Appa, who is big, strong and serious, Momo is the exact opposite.  He is small, and mischievous, which causes some problems with both the heroes and the villains, but mostly the villains.  And like Appa, Momo is a big eater, too, but moreso than Appa. Just saying.

Supporting Characters

Iroh: The uncle of Zuko and brother of Firelord Ozai. Known as the Dragon of the West, he was one of the Fire Nation's top generals, and a fierce one to boot.  All that changed, when his son, Lu Ten, died in battle.  Lu Ten's death had a profound change within Iroh. He went from a fierce general into the battle-hardened yet wise old man that we know today.  Although he is his uncle, Zuko sees Iroh as more of a father figure than Ozai ever was. Don't let his age and his eccentric behavior fool you, he is much stronger and wiser than you think. Unlike Ozai, Iroh is very compassionate and kind and wish to see the Fire Nation reformed from the past Firelords that want to take over the world and make it a decent place to live, where it co-exists with the other nations as it use to be.  Not only a great general and a powerful Firebender and one of the few who could bend lightning, he is also the founder of a group of old masters who fight for peace and balance known as the Order of the White Lotus. His favorite hobbies are drinking tea, playing the Tsungi Horn and playing Pai Sho.

Suki: A member of a group of female warriors on Kyoshi Island, named after the Avatar before Roku. She later joined up with Team Avatar and became the love interest of Sokka after his short-lived relationship with Princess Yue. Don't let her girlish nature fool you, she will have your butt handed to you. Tell that to the warden of Fire Nation prison, known as the Boiling Rock.

Roku: The Avatar before Aang. Before that, he was originally part of the Fire Nation and was once best friends with the soon to be Firelord, Sozin, before he betrayed him. He serves as the spirit guide to Aang during his adventures. He is also Zuko's great grandfather, which in turn, is his mother's grandfather.

Bumi: Aang's old friend from the past, and I do mean "old." Aang remembered him as a kid, riding the carts at the Earth Kingdom city of Omashu. Years later, Bumi not only became old, but he also became king of Omashu. But don't let his age, and his childlike innocence fool you. Bumi is one of the most powerful Earthbenders in the world, which rivals that of Toph. A mad genius as Aang calls him. Did I forget to mention he has a thing for Rock Candy? :D

Pakku: A master Waterbender from the Northern Water Tribe, who initially didn't want to teach Katara because of her gender. But had a change of heart when he noticed the choker on Katara's neck, which was once a gift to his one time betroth, Kana (That's right, Kana is Katara and Sokka's Gran-Gran). He later reunites with Kana and became Katara and Sokka's grandfather (Don't call him Gramp-Gramp or Grandpa-Ku, by the way).

Jeong-Jeong: A Firebending master who once served Zhao in the Fire Nation army. But defected after learning that Zhao and all of the Fire Nation have distorted the art of Firebending.

Piandao: A master swordsman from the Fire Nation, who taught Sokka the way of the sword. His likeness is based on the fight chorographer who did most of the martial arts moves for the show, which I will talk about next chapter.

Hakoda: Sokka and Katara's father. Like his son, Hakoda is a great warrior and tactician from the Southern Water Tribe. He left his home to fight against the Fire Nation. He later assisted Team Avatar in the Day of Black Sun, but failed, due to the Fire Nation's awareness of the eclipse, thanks to Azula. He was captured and sent to the Boiling Rock. Only to escape, thanks to Sokka, Zuko and Suki. Not only a great warrior, but a great father, too. He raised his kids well.

The Villains

Fire Lord Ozai: The fire lord of the Fire Nation itself. He is the son of Azulon and grandson to Sozin. Like his predecessors, he craves power by seizing control of every part of the world, in his brutal ways. He was not only brutal towards the world, but was brutal towards his family, including his son, Zuko. Ozai is the one who gave Zuko his scar on his face for refusing to fight him in an Agni Kai or Fire Duel. Later near the end, he crowned himself as "The Phoenix King," and plans to burn the entire world and rebuilt it under the Fire Nation's banner. He is the one the Avatar must defeat in order to restore peace and balance to the world.

Azula: The crown princess of the Fire Nation and a Firebending prodigy. She is the daughter of Ozai and the sister to Zuko. If Zuko is Abel, then Azula must be Cain. Unlike Zuko, Azula has no redeeming features. She is like her father, cold, calculating and ruthless. Where most of the Firebenders' flames are their standard orange and red, Azula's flames are all blue. She and her grandfather Azulon, their names were from the Spanish word, Azul, which means blue.

Zhao: The commander, then later admiral, of the Fire Nation army. He was the main villain of Book 1. Not only going after the Avatar, but also having a rivalry of sorts with Zuko. His greatest (or lack thereof) achievement near the end of Book 1, when he plans to "destroy" the moon, by stealing one of the fishes that resembles the spirit of the Moon. Fortunately, his victory was short-lived by both the Avatar and Princess Yue sacrificing her life to become the Moon Spirit. Zhao ended being consumed by the water after the Aang used his Avatar powers to merge with the Moon Spirit and devastated the Fire Nation army.

Long Feng: The main villain of Book 2. He is the head of the secret police in Ba Sing Se, known as the Dai Li. He may look civilized, but at the same time, he is ruthless. His Dai Li keep Ba Sing Se in the dark about the Fire Nation and the war itself. But, his plans were foiled by Team Avatar and exposed his treachery to the Earth King. He later formed an alliance to Azula, which ultimately was short-lived, when the Dai Li betrayed him and aligned themselves to Azula.

Firelord Sozin: The firelord before Azulon. He was once best friends with Avatar Roku. But his lust for power broken up that friendship when he became the Firelord. After Roku's death, Sozin launched an attack on the Airbenders, ensuring that the Avatar lifecycle would be broken. After his passing, the people of the Fire Nation named a comet after him, which gives the Firebenders more fire power, so to speak. Like Roku, Sozin was also the great grandfather of Zuko, which also means that he is the grandfather of Ozai, his father. That is one messed up family. At least Zuko and Iroh are not all evil, thank goodness.

Other Characters

Jet: Neither hero or villain, he is what we call a neutral type character. He is the leader of a small band of freedom fighters, who want to rid the world of the Fire Nation. His family died when he was young and he had a profound hatred with the Fire Nation ever since. His heart was in the right place, but he disregard the fate of innocent people, even if they are from the Fire Nation. Long after that, Jet went to Ba Sing Se, to start over. But his peace was short-lived, when he discovered that Zuko and Iroh were part of the Fire Nation. He was later captured by the Dai Li and brainwashed him, thinking that he is enjoying his life peacefully. Thanks to Team Avatar, he was freed from the brainwashing, only to be killed off by Long Feng. His skill with the sword, especially with his Hookswords, makes him an equal to Zuko.

Mai: Her name is pronounced "May" not "Mai," in case M. Night Shamylon has other ideas. She is the daughter of a local Fire Nation governor, who once conquered Omashu and she's the niece of a warden of the Fire Nation prison, known as the Boiling Rock. She is mostly emo and gloomy, but she is deadly with her daggers and stilettos. But she does have a soft spot for Zuko. She once pledged her allegiance to her childhood friend Azula until she broke down in insanity.

Ty Lee: A wily, but adorkable circus acrobat. Unlike Mai, Ty Lee is often a free spirit and often says corky lines along the way (e.g. "Look at the clouds. They are so poofy. POOF!). But don't let her innocence and free spirited nature fool you. She can pinpoint your pressure points in your body and paralyzes you, that means the Benders can't use their bending. That is called Chi-Blocking. She is the first of many to come. Like Mai, she aligned herself with Azula until her insanity ended their friendship for good. After the war, she later joined Suki and the Kyoshi warriors and give them a few pointers in Chi-Blocking.

Shi Fu: An Earthbender, who acts like a wrestling promoter. He was the organizer of the Earth Rumble competition. But when Toph left with Team Avatar, her father sent him to bring her back, claiming that she was kidnapped. He succeeded, only to be outsmarted by Toph, by means of Metalbending.

June: A bounty hunter, neither good or evil, just doing it for the big pay. She often flirts with Zuko and calls Iroh a "Creepy Grandpa". She rides a Shirshu named Nyla. Shirshus are known for their strong sense of smell and their tongues can paralyze you.

Gran-Gran: Sokka and Katara's grandmother. Her real name is Kana. She raised the siblings after their mother died and their father left for the war. Although she didn't appear much, but she encouraged Katara and Sokka to help the Avatar bring balance back to the world. She was once engaged by Pakku, but turned down her engagement. But, later she had a change of heart and she and Pakku got engaged and Pakku became their grandfather.

Well, that's it for the characters. Time for me to take a break. But next time, we will talk about the inspirations, the music and the voice actors. My brain hurts. Until next time.

(Avatar: The Last Airbender End Credits theme play)

*Fade Out